ice breaker
by Silent Deathbringer
Summary: this is my first fanfiction so tell me what you think
1. Chapter 1

I don't own devil may cry or any of the people in it

"No Dante" Lady sighed she was getting really annoyed with his incessant whining.

"But I want it please…i'll be your best friend" he said back to her with ah toothy grin showing off very sharp teeth. Lady only stared then to his surprise she burst out laughing. "I really don't see what's so funny Lady really I thought you were more seri-"

He didn't get ah chance to finish what he was about to say because he was promptly shot in the balls. There was a long pause and then.

"WHAT THE HELL YOU FUCKING BITCH YOU'RE ……OOWWWWWWWWW"

Dante screeched after taking a hit to his manhood. (personally I don't if it does but from what i've heard it hurts like a bitch.)

"Well that's what you get for even asking for that I mean it's one thing to ask for something reasonable but that your lucky I only shot um I should of chopped them off but I was feeling happy today so I didn't." Lady sneered smirking down at him.

Dante scoffed "You happy I don't think so" he laughed at the glare Lady sent his way.

"Well yes I AM happy because i've been thinking lately"

"About what messing around with my brother." Dante said then started making kissing sounds. "I love you Virgil smooch, smooch, smooch I love you to Lady."

Lady was blushing up a storm.

"I don't like Virgil."

"Do to. "

"Do not."

"Do."

"Don't."

"Do."

Don't."

Don't."

"Do and that's final" Lady said.

Dante smiled "What ever you say Lady what ever you say".

Lady just stood there smiling but that smile quickly turned into a frown 'Did I just agree that I like Virgil?' Lady thought with worry one look at Dante told her that she had.

"Well Lady since it is Christmas you should give Virgil one of your… you know to help him be less nervous around you kind of like an ice breaker." Dante said.

" Hu" Lady sighed " All right I'll give him one of my bras but I swear if I find out that he doesn't like me i'm going to make your life a hell." She said with a glare

"Good luck with that i'm half-devil remember?"

"Well see you tomorrow sleep good and don't look at the presents under the tree ok" Lady said to Dante before she went to her room.

"LADY GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE NOW IT'S TIME TO OPEN THE PRESANTS" Dante yelled from down stairs.

"LADY CO"

"Be quiet Dante i'm here already" Lady sighed to tired to yell back because she was roused from a deep sleep at 5:33 in the morning.

"Good morning Lady" Virgil greeted in a nervous tone that wasn't normal for him. Well they all opened there presents & got what they wanted. The last presents were to Virgil and Lady from each other. When they opened the boxes they were shocked, embarrassed, and quite red.

"Wha… um… this…why" they both said. For Virgil there was a green box with one of Lady's bras sitting in it. For Lady a black box (go figure) with Virgil's silk black boxers in it. They both held their presents up faces flushed then they were momentarily blinded by a camera flash then they looked at Dante and he said.

"Merry Christmas guys.

This is my first fanfiction so reviews would be most appreciated thanks for reading


	2. Revenge

I don't own Devil May Cry or any one in it. When we last left off Dante was screwing over Vergil and Lady now how will they get their revenge you'll have to read to find out now enough will my talking and on with the story.

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It had been a few days after Christmas with happy Dante and a pissed Lady and Vergil. Down stairs Dante was drinking beer waiting for the ball to drop signaling New Year's Day. But upstairs Lady and Vergil were plotting their revenge. "So what should we do first?" Vergil asked Lady.

"Well I did some thinking and we should take away his beer first" Lady answered.

"Forcing him to go out to get more."

"Then we dye all his stuff pink."

"Then last but not least."

"We take away his weapons" they said together.

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Down stairs with Dante was looking at a Playboy mag when the phone rang "Devil May Cry."

"Um can you um h-h-help me p-please?" said a stuttering voice from thee other end of the phone.

"That depends you got the pass word."

"Um y-yes the p-pass word is Rebellion right."

"Yeah so where and when is it and most importantly how much am I gana get?"

"W-well it's at the Slice Of Life book store and you'll get um $3,000 dose that suffice oh and i'll need you here in half an hour."

"Yeah i'll be there in ah bit see ya" he said then hung up the phone. Then he turned around to see Lady come down the stairs go to the fridge and beers.

"Come on Lady you aren't still mad at me are ya?"

"…."she answered.

'Hope she gets over it well better get goin' he thought.

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Lady and Vergil were up stairs sipping beer when they heard the door open and close signaling that Dante had left.

"Well he left on his own so let's drain his beer and start dyeing stuff." Lady said with a grin.

"Yes lets" Vergil agreed so they set to work.

23 minutes later

"Well that's done now all we have to do" Lady started.

"Is steal his weapons" Vergil finished.

"Hey i'm back" Dante announced as he walked in the front door closing it behind him.

We walked over to the fridge to grab ah beer but saw there was none. He let out ah sigh and said "WHO THE HELL TOOK ALL MY BEER? (ok so more like yelled like my grandma after finding the condom that my cousin left in her bed after being banged by her boy friend.)

When no answer came he went up stairs to his room and opened the door

Only to stare in horror at what was in side. Pink walls, bed, he ran to the closet to find all his clothes some shade of pink. He prayed that his weapons hadn't shared the same fate well he wouldn't know because "Where are they I put um right here what the" where his weapons should be there was ah note that said

Dante if you want your weapons back come

to Lady's room now.

Sincerely: Lady & Vergil

"… Those ass holes" Dante said in ah deadly whisper.

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In Lady's room Lady and Vergil were sitting on the bed kissing (yes kissing) when they heard Dante yelling.

"Well I guess he saw it" Vergil said kissing Lady's neck.

"I guess he did" she answered leaning into him.

"Give me back my weapons no-" he didn't get ah chance to finish what he was about to say because he was now covered in lard from head to toe.

Thee other to said nothing just sitting there pointing a video camera at Dante and sharing a passionate kiss to celebrate the New Year. Then they broke the kiss and said to Dante

"Happy New Year Dante" Lady said first.

"Yes Happy New Year little brother" said Vergil.

"Hu yeah what ever."

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Well as was said Happy New Year every one this is the last chapter of this fan fic

So please review oh and i've changed my name to Silentdeath Bringer see ya


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